“He Is Not Speaking”
Lots of ladies have this same problem. They want a guy already very close to them to “speak up”. They want to hear him say: “I love you” Or “I want to marry you” oh why?
They have been so close. Even some ladies believed that they have prayed through. God had spoken them long before then, that the said same brother they are expecting to “speak up” is their life partner.
Now the said guy or brother is not saying anything, but he chose to remain close to them.
Being in an opposite sex friendship does not mean you have to be emotionally close. A lots of singles have this problem. You don’t have to be “emotionally” close to your opposite sex friend.
How To Know If You Are Getting Close Emotionally
1. You must visit one another everyday: It is either she comes checking you up, or you go checking her up.
2. Usage of emotional words: you are not dating or courting for God’s sake, avoid emotional words or phrases like sweety, darling, sweet heart etc. When they are coming up from either of you or both of you, you are becoming emotionally close.
3. Unnecessarily long night chats: for no specific reasons you have to chat long and late into the night frequently.
4. Jealous of other friends: when you begin to be jealous of his or her closeness to his/her other close opposite sex friends.
5. Frequent gifts: some choose to show this through frequently given out gifts in form of money or materials to this particular opposite sex friend. Even if you can’t know what your emotions are saying, your actions must tell you. Watch out!
6. Feelings of Attachment: when you are alone, you feel lonely without the presence of this person. You always find yourselves thinking about this person deeply. Memories of the last visits or actions keep playing in you. Watch out! There is an emotional attachment already.
Disadvantages of Emotional Relationship
1. Sudden Heart break: it is so funny when people that are not in any relationship have heart break or disappointment. Why is this so? The other party is always,a free girl or guy! He or she is really nobody to you, but just a mere friend. You didn’t define the relationship. But when any of you get hooked with another person and start a,real or serious relationship, the other one is disappointed.
2. Sex: so funny to me! Yeah! It is always funny to me when especially ladies narrate their experience with their male friends, that cheaply they had sex with a guy that is an ordinary friend to them. A lot of ladies has been sexually aroused and raped or accept reluctantly to have sex. When you are too much close to one another, naturally emotions build up. It is not abnormal when you thereafter fall into romance and sex.
It is even understandable but sinful and bad if you fall mistakenly into sexual intercourse with your fiance/fiancee. But it is so crazy and stupid to fall cheaply into sin with someone not even defined as your lover. This will lead to shame, guilt and to some secret love affairs. A lady in a relationship with another brother shared with me how her choir leader always romance her in his house any time she visit him. He knows her fiance. He will always invite her to his residence to help him out with some assignments. What can you think brought them to that level?
3. Late Engagement: many singles that are into emotional affairs don’t get engage in time. Most especially sisters, wait unnecessarily endlessly for him “to speak up”. And to some, the emotional attachment and sexuality already involve give them fake relieve until they discover the other party is about to get married. That is when they will realise they are not really in any relationship. Most of them find it hard to allow a,serious relationship, they turn down many proposals because they are emotionally attached to another.
4. Shallow Spiritual life: Emotional relationships has its background in nothing but lust. Naturally when you allow lust to build up in you towards someone, it will not make you healthy spiritually. You will always feel empty and weak spiritually. Depending on the level of lust, some their word and prayer life dry up and they become shallow spiritually. They find it hard to move spiritually.
1. Set boundaries: nothing is wrong with opposite sex friendship but you must be matured enough to handle it. It must not get out of hand. Manage it well. When you see the signs coming up. Stop! Reduce closeness! Move back!
2. Break it Up: if you are already in one, it is outright breakage until you are free and fine. No visitation again, no chats or chat short and un-frequently. Don’t give unnecessary attention. Resists the devil! Yes! He flees!
Discuss it with the friend if it is persisting. Tell him or her what you want. Tell him or her to give you space! Bade him or her outright good bye if it has led to sexual actions, romance or sex.