How to Deal with Jealousy in Relationships

Bothered by the attention that your boyfriend or girlfriend gets from other people? Can’t stand it when your sweetie’s ex is around? Sounds like you’ve got a jealous streak.

If you do something foolish about it – like blame your boyfriend or girlfriend, or lash out at the ex – you’re going to drive your sweetie away. Here are 5 ways to ward off those jealous thoughts.

Recognize Why You’re Jealous
People will rarely go out of their ways to make you feel jealous. Instead, jealousy in relationships usually comes from insecurity that you feel about yourself or about your relationship. When you feel a pang of jealousy, try to figure out what’s really at the root of it. You’ll probably find that solving the problem involves changing something about you rather than changing the way your girlfriend or the people around her act.

Build Up Your Self-Esteem
Confident people aren’t jealous because they know they don’t have a reason to be. Take a little time every day to do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself. When insecure thoughts enter your head, try to push them out. Little by little, your confidence will build, and you’ll care less about what other people think.

Quit Comparing
You’re probably tempted to compare yourself to the other girls in your boyfriend’s life, and to keep double checking to make sure your boyfriend thinks you’re prettier and cooler than they are. Snap out of it! When it comes to dating, people can’t be compared like that. No matter what your boyfriend’s exes and female friends are like, he likes you for you.

Put Yourself in Other People’s Shoes
If your girlfriend has an ex-boyfriend who wants her back, think about how you’d feel if you were him: probably pretty hopeless and depressed. You have more reason to feel bad for him than to be angry at him.

Remember that Acting Jealous Doesn’t Help Anything
In fact, jealousy in relationships only makes things worse – especially if it changes the way you act around your boyfriend or girlfriend. Why ruin a perfectly good relationship with negative thoughts? Get positive!

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