Life doesn’t give you what you desire but what you determine to possess in spite of all odds. A good and successful marriage isn’t a product of wishing, it’s a thing you must determinedly work for.
I have seen, heard and read about different kinds of marriage in life. Some are still in their marriage because of the children or for the fear of what people would say if they call it quit. Moreover, some are enjoying bliss every single day despite the challenges they’re facing in it.
Marriage can be broadly classified into two kind, especially of those couples who still live together as husband and wife. They can be said to be either enjoying or enduring it.
Dear singles, before you go into marriage, you must determine the kind of marriage you’d have and this goes a long way on whom you marry and your perception about marriage itself. However, the following facts will help you as you prepare or continue in the marital journey if you are married.
1. An enjoyable marriage is worked for, not wished
Just as life is all about making choices, having an enjoyable marriage is a choice you also make and you must be responsible for seeing the choice becoming a reality.
Nothing in life is achieved through wishing, if it were so, beggars would have been the richest people on earth.
Aside marrying the right person, you must ensure you work to make your marriage an enjoyable one regardless of the challenges you may face. You must have a win-win attitude and not leave the kitchen when the heat is much.
2. An enduring marriage is caused by a situation where one partner is trying to make it work while the other tries to tear it apart
What kind of mentality does the person you want to marry hold? Do they believe it’s only the woman that must say “I’m sorry” or the man alone? Do they hold the archaic perception about marriage, where the woman is not to be heard but silenced or where the man believes he’s polygamous in nature and bossy?
All these and many more goes a long way in affecting your marriage. And you can know these during courtship. Marriage is not a place where ego is to be displayed but where humility is to be embraced regardless of who and what you are.
When it’s only one person that’s trying to make the marriage survive, such union will be endured and not enjoyed. The beauty of marriage is achieved when battles are mutually fought, successes are mutually shared, yokes are borne together and when responsibilities and obligations are equally fulfilled. A lot of marriages are lacking in these.
3. In an enjoyable marriage, both parties are striving hard to make it work regardless of the challenges they face
I often feel sorry for newlyweds when they’re taking their marital vow on the alter: “For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness or in health, till death do us part”. How many will remain faithful to it years later?
But unfortunately when the worse, sickness or penury comes, they forget the vow too soon and resolve to divorce or separation. No marriage can be successful or enjoyed when there’s no willingness to mutually make it work. One person can’t make a marriage successful because it takes two to tango. You can be successful in life as a single but you can’t have a successful marriage without the input of your help meet.
And in case you don’t know, there’s storm in every marriage even if it’s God ordained. Marriage isn’t all about romance, realities must be faced and prepared for otherwise, you won’t survive when they come.
4. An enduring marriage kills your dreams or purpose but an enjoying one enhance its fulfillment
It’s no doubt to see some women who because of marriage became full-time house wives, ended up raising children and couldn’t become what God wanted them to be. Some men who made bad marital choices too couldn’t fulfill God’s purpose for their lives because the women in their lives frustrated that purpose, hence they’re only enduring the relationship.
God’s thought for you is of good. Why don’t you just pursue the fulfillment of His thought in your life?
An enjoying marriage allows you to continue the fulfillment of the purpose you have discovered when you’re single. Why not allow God guide you into marrying the right person so that you can enjoy your marriage. Life is too full of challenges to add an enduring marriage to what you battle with in life.
An enduring marriage is a pain in the neck but an enjoying marriage is sweet. An enjoying marriage is like a drama with a beautiful ending but an enduring marriage is an heart cry. An enduring marriage robs you off peace but an enjoying marriage is the type where you enjoy peace of mind even in the midst of storms.
Dear singles, what kind of marriage do you want in life? Do the right thing. Pray to get the right spouse that God intends for you. And don’t stop there, be prepared to making it work come rain or shine. Remember, if God will do His part you must not fail to play your own role.